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Tuesday, October 28, 2003

That's the problem with articles about suicide. They include the gory forensic details that makes the idea of suicide unpalatable. Marissa Imrie probably looked at the same website I did and, for some reason, the autopsy photos didn't deter her. I was mostly worried about staining the living room carpet or leaving a permanent stench or the look of horror on whoever stumbles across me. My method is still to disappear into the tundra one winter. Wild animals will eat my corpse and my parents will be spared a visit to the morgue.

Note 1: "[Roger Grimes] gave up [trying to get a suicide barrier installed on the Golden Gate Bridge] a few years ago, stunned that in an area as famously liberal as San Francisco, where you can always find a constituency for the view that pets should be citizens or that poison oak has a right to exist, there was so little empathy for the depressed." The most interesting parts of this article was Kevin Hines, who spent a tearful half hour on the bridge and no one intervened, or the guy who wrote that if one person smiled at him that day he wouldn't jump.

*****

Last September, one month into unemployment, I saw a Native woman standing at Burrard and Georgia crying, with a baseball cap held out to the passing office workers streaming out from the surrounding office high rises. At her feet was a black duffel bag and a green backpack.

Just arrived to Vancouver and no one to meet her, I thought.

My personal superstition is that giving money to a busker is good luck. I never pass one without a donation. While I support all street musicians, I never loosen purse strings for common beggars.

But this woman on the corner of Burrard and Georgia - I thought of Pasolini's story of how a pimp lured the young widow into prostitution. While reading the story, the widow's entrapment takes up many pages, I kept thinking, "No! There's still time to save yourself!"

Already I crossed the street. There are so many people in the Downtown Eastside and they perhaps once started out like this woman.

I don't think my five dollar donation was enough.

*****

Note 2: crabs eat corpse eyeballs and cheeks. Down with crabs!

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