Thursday, February 12, 2004

Beagles are another kind of dog I believe I will like.

Last year, when I decided I needed a pet in my life, I spent hours viewing dogs. Somehow, someone passed my information to a beagle owner in Alberta. This lady wanted me to buy her two beagles for $500, shipping included.

Two beagles. They could keep each other company while I was at work. I would finally know the joy of frequenting dog parks.

The pictures looked really cute.

My mother helped me make the back yard escape-proof. She warned me not to let the dogs scratch the sofa or pee on the carpet.

In the end I knew I would be powerless to stop my beagles from mischief. I called the beagle lady back and turned down her beagles.

Beagles since have begun to haunt me.

Whenever I look in the "Pets Classified" a beagle is always listed - and "free to good home" to boot!

Tonight there are two free beagles out there.

"Darlings," I want to say to them, "Why are you free? Is something wrong with you? Do you breed in your owner's slippers? Do you harpoon endangered whales? Do you instigate riots? Do you run amok in courts of law?"

But know this, sweet beagles: if I had the means, I would take you in.

May no vivisectionist adopt you.

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