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Thursday, February 05, 2004

So I came across the blog of some guy I met on a mere two occasions last summer at a book club. For the last few months I have discovered many things about him that he didn't reveal at the book club. That he is into kinky sex, for example.

At first, I wanted to tell him I was reading his blog. For months I read it, knowing that one day soon we shall meet again. However, I always schedule something on the book club night. I haven't met the book club since September. Since, I couldn't make it to the book club, I meant to email him and let him know I was reading it.

Once I read his article on some fetish club I realized that, in the three hours I spent in his presence, he showed a very different side of his personality. With his thick glasses and overwhelming interest in science fiction novels, I imagined his tastes running into manga rather than real, live sex. Because Japanese cartoon chicks seem to have so much more to offer than real women.

If I email him now, maybe he will get creeped out and think I was stalking him. For the record, I found his blog while browsing the book club website. Will he believe me if I say I am an avid reader because I like blogs written by people I know? Will he be alarmed that some vague acquiantance can betray him to the entire book club?

When I first started Maktaaq, it did give me the heebie jeebies that someone might read and think what a bad writer I am. And what if they wrote and told me how stupid I was? (It's only happened once so far.) What if I complained about X, Y read it and told X? I had to watch who I gossiped about. Then there is the problem of offending differing tastes while I mutter about my political and social views.

I started this blog while I was in Japan so that I could save a bit of money on telephone bills. In 2002 there was still almost no cable internet, least of all in my rural location. Precious minutes disappeared for each email I sent out; even with answering emails in a Word document, then cutting and pasting into the email. The purpose of this blog was to ramble all in one go about the books I was reading. Instead of writing ten emails about the exact same book to ten people, plus all the necessary salutations, I could now reach the whole lot.

In recent months I abhorred the idea of adding a counter to this site. My friends say they read it but I thought they were just being polite. With a counter stuck firmly at one, I would possibly not bear to go on living.

When one of the managers at my company started her own blog - again, I love reading the blogs of people I know - my interest in writing magnified to pre-high school graduation levels. Then one day, her blog had a counter. Ha, what's good enough for her is far too above me, I thought. And then, as if taunting me, she put up a link ordering her readers to "get your own free counter." Cornered, I had no choice but to comply. If, after a week, the counter was still at one, I would remove the dratted thing and sweep my embarrassment under the rug. No one had to know how unpopular I am on the web.

Oddly enough it is now around 200, after less than two weeks of putting it up. All these viewers can't possibly be my friends and I disabled it from recording my own visits.

So it seems as if there are strangers at least stumbling upon my ravings. To appeal to the common blog-reader, I have decided to become (albeit briefly) a sex doll reviewer.

I give you my ratings of REALDOLLS!

Charlie: so Charlie is anus-optional. And his weight changes drastically if one chooses the anus version. Does the anus affect the $7000 price tag?

Mai: the doll for men who can't even seduce a living Asian woman.

Nika: this company is really into representing the myriad of the Asian experience! Here we have what seems to be a Filipino doll. I didn't know there was a skin tone called Asian (or African).

Melissa: Don't you hate it when your dress suddenly slips off? Thank God, Melissa's necklace stayed put.

Angela: those FlexxWire fingers can be "posed without worry of wire fatigue."

Britney: the FAQ warns against storing the doll with clothing on. Don't forget to remove those socks!

Nameless Blue Doll: for the Nosferatu fans.

The J-Lo: does she know she's become a love doll?

The torso: I so miss those nineteenth century dissection theatres.

Now then, counter, let's see some more numbers!

*****

Did anyone else think of the Stepford Wives?

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