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Saturday, March 20, 2004

Someone knocks on the door, the baby cries, rain soaks your wet laundry, the phone rings; in the background water is about to run over the rim of the bath tub. These five situations represent the important things in life:

a. Baby = family

b. Bath water = health

c. Visitor at the door = social life

d. Telephone = career

e. Laundry = sex

The order in which you placed them is their order of importance in your life.

Obviously the correct order was to open the door, buy the pelican from the peddler, spoonfeed pureed zucchini to the baby, plug the running tap with the laundry and then answer the phone.

Tina/Anonymous Person: your order informs us that you make up words when you play Scrabble.

Jen: it is obvious that sea anemone are allergic to you. As a licensed professional, I will refrain from passing judgment on your lack of maternal skills.

Charles: your cabalistic answers indicate that you were a Napoleonic standard-bearer.

Raspberry: if a cliff swallow builds a nest on the side of your house, do not use a broom to defend yourself.

Frank: it is alright. Unless you plan on photographing origami kitchen utensils. Then I would suggest changing the order of your priorities. Tend to the phone (a grasshopper might be calling) before turning off the door.

M: you cannot wear anything else. This order depicts an individual who would rather decontaminate teapots than prance about in pantaloons. Your laundry consists entirely of pantaloons.

Yolanda: Baby, tub, door, laundry, phone? Darling, your priorities have changed. Welcome to the real world - a world of upset marmots and dancing blacksmiths.

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