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Saturday, April 03, 2004

Dear Maktaaq,

I am writing to thank myself for starting today with a show of omnipotence. Everyone enjoys flaunting the power to smite like God in the Old Testament. This morning I enjoyed a bout of smiting. I haven't smited for a while now.

As you remember, dear Maktaaq, the other day you employed a new set of contact lenses. The old ones were flicked to the side of the sink and forgotten. Hours later, upon rediscovery, they were dry, brittle disks. Stuck to the sink (like barnacles), I saw that I could not remove them with gentle force. So I crushed them. With my bare finger. Contact lens shrapnel burst like a wayward lemon. Tap water did the rest of the job and washed away the shards.

Bwa ha ha! I love washing expensive things down the sink!

Thank you again for the wonderful morning. I so enjoyed this moment, I have decided to take up smiting on a regular basis.

Yours very truly,

F. G. Maktaaq

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