Wednesday, April 21, 2004

The question on the minds of male mice everywhere is, "Will we become obsolete?"

In an effort to quell rumours, Mickey, president of the Male Mice Union, speaking at a press conference late Wednesday night, outlined an action plan to halt male mice redundancy.

The plan is a five-pronged approach to promote awareness of the advantageousness of male mice:

  • All male mice will henceforth wear sombreros, learn the words to La Cucaracha and serve margaritas on the patios of Mexican-themed restaurants.

  • Male mice will immediately begin tormenting cats. The employment of blacksmith items, including but not limited to, anvils, horseshoes and red-hot pokers is encouraged.

  • Male mice will fill the void left by the near extinction of the cheetah by performing cheetah stunts for well-heeled tourists.

  • Male mice will establish styrofoam incineration plants in strategic woodland locations.

  • Male mice will now perform open heart surgery for prices slashed up to 50%.

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