Friday, May 07, 2004

I am not deceased!

Here I am! Alive and well!

If you received my death certificate from that death notification service, you can cross out the died date and replace it with TBA.

Recently you may have noticed a dip in my blog output. I assure you that I am still around, breathing and in deep thought. So much thought is happening here that strings of thought spaghetti pours out of my ears. My pillow at night is soggy with the squished pasta. I wake up five or six times a night to scrape the thoughts into the toilet.

Sometimes all this thought is quite heavy. It's sometimes hard to lift my head off the floor. I've taken to pushing around a wheelbarrow with my head on it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about this thoughtfulness. I rather like it when migrating birds stop by my wheelbarrow to feast on my thought. It's good to give something back to nature after all this pollution and deforestation stuff. Maybe the birds won't hate me so much anymore.

Plus, I can sing Mr. Bluebird's on my shoulder without fibbing. I've even been experimenting with the words, changing Mr. Bluebird to Mr. Emu or Mr. Marabou Stork.

A byproduct of bird-attracting thought is my newfound status as a birdwatching celebrity. I am not sure if this is a good thing, though. Serious librarian types in alpine outfits sit outside my bedroom with binoculars and I've even been photographed in my own backyard by some nut who spotted a rhea perched on my ear.

Now what causes all this thought, you ask?

For the last three weeks, I attended the S.E.A.R.C.H. Program (Self-Employed Arts-Related Contractors for Hire), offered by Vancouver's very lovely Alliance for Arts+Culture.

With one very short week left to go, you should get to know this new cast of characters in my life:

Audrius: Lithuanian who likes frozen oranges on Philippine beaches.

Barb: Her songs of rueful former maidens echo through the woods.

Beverly: Colourful Newfoundlander with a penchant for colour.

Carla: Writer and Amazonian butterfly expert.

Chris: Photographer who photographed the Olson twins & did not do them.

Christine: Having worked with bookstore crazies, she can now identify individuals out of their gourds.

Dome: Laotian painter whose best friend is a musical rock.

Ela: Polish lady whose paintings feature large smiling birds migrating over tropical islands.

Jeff: Video editor guy who lent me the yakuza & zombie movie.

John: Actor whom I'd seen days earlier in a play. Blushes often.

Jonna: Puppeteer who reminds me of Pippi Longstocking.

Karen G: What sort of wedding dresses does she make? She don't seem like the wedding type. She's in skirts over pants all the time.

Lily: French corset-maker whose daughter fancies herself a circus performer.

Melissa: Painter lass who sells household furniture for paints. She's down to her bed.

Michelle: Future puppeteer and expert on childbirth.

Pauline: The huge earrings are nothing next to her ability to notice hickeys.

Rachel: The tattooed anchors on the backs of her shins tie her down.

Ryan: Subversive humour boy.

Sean: Tattoo guy, guitarist, conte painter, sculptor and beachside Pigmalion.

Tanya: Her Chickens in Squares pictures crack us up.

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