Saturday, May 01, 2004

My apologies for not writing about the letter Q. I said I would procrastinate tonight and blog. But I have been very seriously working on work.

I have been thinking about the letter Q, though.

The letter Q takes centre stage in the Chinese national anthem, with a mindboggling eight occurences: four times as qilai ("arise!") and four times as qianjin ("march on!").

In Chinese pinyin romanization, the Q is one of the bad boy letters. Along with the letters J and X, it spits a viscous mass of saliva in the face of English Prononciation, then laughs while English Prononciation takes off its glasses and wipes them.

When the letter Q rides into town on its motorcycle, no letter is foolish enough to confront Q's gang.

Once, the letter I and his girlfriend, the letter H, drove off in a Trans Am during one of these sieges. They didn't last long: Q's gang caught up with them and forced the car off the road. They dragged I out of the car, then beat him to a pulp. His ribs all collapsed. To this day I has not yet recovered.

I can't even begin to describe what happened to poor H. She went mad soon afterwards, and developed needy relationships with the letters C and S. "She's just so clingy," complained S in a recent interview.

Despite the respect Q demands, behind his back the other letters hate him. Only his girlfriend, U, still hangs out with him. She is the perfect model of the self-sacrficing moll. Anything for her man. Q might ditch her sometimes (Qaddafi, Qatar, maktaaq), but his relationship with A is simply a fling. He always returns to U.

Q's only other friend, X, still occasionally shows up, as in quixotic. But X prefers solitude. X has his multiple personalities - xylophone and x-ray - to keep him company.

Warfare with K is exacerbated with such atrocities as Kwik. There have been some arrests, but body parts keep showing up. Rumour has it that i lost his .

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