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Saturday, June 26, 2004

My conversion, after nearly a year, back to televisionism is nearly complete. I still don't turn on the TV on my own; I am certain, however, that the final step is not far off. My sister always calls me over now with a "Hey, What Not to Wear is on!" Today, I watched, for the first time, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy*.

At the end of today's episode of Queer Eye, after they changed this Greek fellow into something decently dressed, the "Fab Five" gave some last minute tips. "No limp handshakes." "Dried parsley is confetti." That sort of advice.

Wait! I thought. All this stuff is common sense. Who the hell doesn't know about giving giving firm handshakes? And, who the hell hosts a party without greeting all their guests?

Now I could be wrong, since this is only the first episode I watched, but I am going to deduce that the Queer Eye quintet is reminding us of things that would have been quite the norm thirty or forty years ago.

Which then leads me to think, if these guys are advocating older societal norms, then they're upholding traditions. Traditions lost to the beer-and-pretzels crowd. Perhaps, these other men, who claim territorial rights over expansive nose hairs and extra-large t-shirts, are cutting edge. Perhaps they are the people who are destroying tradition and, thus, family values. Maybe women need their rights to contraceptives out of fear of giving birth to yet another corpulent-in-the-mid-region football fan. Maybe if peer pressure required men to wear fedoras to hockey games again women would go back to the kitchens where they damn well belong.

*I might also add that, as a result of Queer Eye, I have a new, unattainable crush. Goodbye, Mr. Got-A-Girlfriend (yes, that one, Raspberry), hello, Mr. Yummy.

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