On Second Thought 

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Do you ever think, "Why did such-and-such die, why couldn't such-and-such have traded lives with some useless motherfucker, who we don't want around anyhow?"

I just found myself thinking that. My next thought was to insert the name of some useless motherfucker in the space occupied by the words useless motherfucker.

My first thought immediately after thinking of inserting a name was to think George W. Bush.

This thought was next followed by the thought of Anişoara's body infected by the screaming soul of George W. Bush, while Bush's body suddenly housed the soul of a charming little hamster.

Suddenly, the President would run around chewing on parts of the White House that meet at acute angles. The President would sniff his staff, his wife, and his intoxicated daughters. Would anyone notice? Or would they recall his coke days and shoo the contents of an inner city school bus off the White House grounds? Would the President have enough sunflower seeds and celery sticks? Would his staff realize that hamsters can't eat chocolate, citrus fruits, garlic or onions?

Now, my Anişoara, now possessed by George Bush, would be trapped in the bathtub. The tub is more escape-proof than any cage. Hamsters can't do more than muster a few squeaks.

What would the George do?

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