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Vomit Tales 


Friday, July 02, 2004

On Mr. Surly Snobby's blog, I made the following comment:

"When I was about seven and ready to throw up in my sleep, I dreamt that someone was handing me little toy cars and ordered me to swallow each one. I obliged and he handed me toy car after toy car. When he unveiled a life-sized ferrari and said I have to swallow it, I threw up. Then I woke up.

This was my "Hot Wheels" stage of development."

As a result, I've been reminiscing about all the times I've vomited. I try to keep vomiting to a minimum, so I can recall all vomiting episode of my post-infancy life. After 17 vomitless years, I am back in the vomiting game.

Please enjoy the following list of my vomiting adventures.



MAKTAAQ'S VOMITING RESUME



1980

Arrive in Canada. Hear much about the great McDonalds. We are penniless. My parents refuse to take me. Friend, a Chilean refugee, invites me to her party. Her mom takes a liking to me. When the mom learns that I have never eaten at McDonalds, she insists I eat everything on the menu. I am only seven, but she orders me two burgers, fries and a strawberry milkshake. All I remember is the milkshake returning from beyond the grave to haunt me. As a result couldn't eat strawberries for nearly twenty years.

1981

The car-vomiting experience recalled above.

1998 January

Guess how I ring in the New Year? It was actually kind of soothing.

1998 February

Bad Valentine's Day vomiting experience. I can't believe he still wanted to go out with me the next day.

1999 February

Thai boat, everyone around me vomiting. Couldn't go on deck due to raging typhoon. The only bag I could find was a half-empty chip bag. Spent three hours vomiting.

1999 June

Food poisoning. The night before my surprise birthday party that I knew about. Fancy restaurant salmon.

2001 May

Food poisoning. Bad Japanese school lunch salmon mixed with jetlag.

2002 June 28

Stupid Japanese convenience stores. Why do they carry alcoholic beverages? Why are they the same price and have the same packaging as soft drinks. Someone could mix them up.

2003 March 30

Fancy salmon lunch? Or over-eager Japanese hosts force-feeding me? My second-to-last night in Japan and I wanted to make sure I ate all my favourite foods. Because I will never have another chance to eat them again.

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