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Thursday, September 30, 2004
Today everyone questioned life. Mr. O'Connor of Albino Neutrino divided life into four quadrants. The Boss Man's solution was to become a hermit while mine, secretly, was to just leave. Forever. I've even started looking for a booking.
Oh, I tried other solutions. I tried writing a story about a ship-going hamster. Didn't work. I exercised and pushed myself harder than usual. Nothing. I tried yoga and that stupid downward dog. Nothing! Not a thing! I tried retail therapy. Four knitting books, five tanktops, six shirts, one cardigan, two skirts and $86 dollars later, it still didn't work. Driving aimlessly, loud repetitive technopop tunes, an insane grocery list of creamed honey, alpine chipmunk whole wheat and dynamite-hot chile, two episodes of Sex and the City, three rows of knitting; but still leaving seemed the best choice.
In the end, leaving gave me a big headache. This one was definitely a migraine. I've had very few migraines, all four in the last year. Which, since migraines are a recent phenomenon for me, leads me to conclude that I must have developed a brain tumour some time during the course of this year.
Or, I may have a bout of mad cow disease (also known as BSE). That explains why I keep missing keys wen I typ. Mad cow diseas eats holes in the brain: I believ it's gobbling up my silent vowels. Dam yu, mad co diseas! I hat yu, BS!
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