Horror Mind Torture 

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Alone at night and trapped with only some Asian horror DVDs, I knit and watch. I admit it: I covered my eyes and plugged my ears at the same time. I tried the mute button a few times. When I missed too much dialogue (these were languages I know), I had to suffer through the sounds again.

You know how horror movies are. The music tips you off that something is about to happen. You know when to cover your eyes and plug your ears. Yet, you want to be ready for the scene when the bogeything leaps out and the suspense degenerates into schlock. That's why I peek through my fingers, squinting to make the image less painfully scary.

First up, Audition. Key words: Actor/Acting, Filmmaking, Japan/Japanese, Love, Marriage/Wedding, Murder, Torture. Emphasis on the last.

Though the female lead looks rather ravishing in her last scene (in the kind of outfit that I fancy myself in - pity I couldn't find a full length picture to share), she managed to really give me the heebie jeebies. I used the mute button for her foot fetish.

As I watched, I tried to keep my eyes off the screen for as long as possible. Though I still need help with Japanese, I can manage with limited subtitles.

My first observation is that my knitting became tighter and tighter.

My second observation is that, when the female lead coquettishly asks itai? ("does it hurt?") to her victim, that that itai ("hurt") was a twist on the usual Japanese porn, where the female floozy squeals itai! ("it hurts!") over and over. I suppose in a way the movie is a case of tables turned. Though the female lead died in the end of this movie and in hardcore Japanese porn I never saw the (implied) male perpetrator die.

Audition left me plenty disturbed. I had to watch The Great Mouse Detective one and a half times until I was able to get to bed. Then I also had to sit through a few George Carlin monologues before I felt I could sleep with body parts intact.

Then I was down to one movie. The Eye.

No torture, just ghosts.

I am an atheist and when I think about the supernatural in a clear, logical step-by-step process, I can think away the supernatural. But now there is scientific evidence that we don't know everything about what exists in the universe. So logically, I can't think ghosts out of existence.

Thankfully, this movie didn't cop out with a logical explanation of ghosts. The only problem is that I became jumpy about seeing an apparition. I interjected with Titanic. It helped to get me thinking about freezing in the Atlantic instead. I was thankful. But as Titanic drew to a close, I grew fearful again. Because then I was both afraid of nutso butchers and creepy old man elevator ghosts.

One man saved me from fear.

That man is George W. Bush.

There is now speculation - which means it will happen any day now - that the US will invade Iran.

That news jolted me so far out of my solo horror movie night, I want to run out NOW and prevent another invasion.

Most people forgot the poor girls raped in Iraq thanks to the ministrations of war. The so-called "feminist" morons who wanted a change in Afghanistan so that burka-clad girls, too, can "wear t-shirts and jeans" (their words) went back to their lattes and dignified conversations. It's time for Iranian women to suffer, is it, Mr. Bush?

Times like these make me wish that there is a god and there is karmic retribution and that there is a hell for these monsters.

Thank you, George Bush & Friends, for allowing me to sleep tonight. I have no more reason to think of nutso butchers and creepy old man elevator ghosts. Your scheduled tortures for another nation is just what I needed.

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