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Wednesday, September 22, 2004
As a card-carrying mad scientist, I've always lamented the fact that I can't breed rabbits with chainsaws instead of those annoying cute ears.
Sure, I can attach chainsaws to rabbits, that's easy enough for any regular messing-with-nature joe blow type.
But breeding chainsaw rabbits, dammit!
That would so cut down on surgery time. With their 31-day gestation period, I could have a whole army of Texas chainsaw rabbit massacres in no time. Yet, with each new litter - from two mutated chainsaw rabbit parents, no less - the bunnies have normal ears.
I've tried genetic modification. I've inseminated female rabbits with microscopic chainsaws. I've fed rabbits razorblades. No luck. Doesn't affect them a whit. I have enough fluffy bunny wabbits for a century of Easters.
As a result I am on a backlog of chainsaw transplants. Does anyone else out there have this problem? Any suggestions from anybody in the mad scientist community would be greatly appreciated.
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