The Fall & Rise of Airline Cutlery 

Friday, April 08, 2005

One of the less-discussed responses to 9-11 is the banning of metal airline cutlery. Affecting jetsetters who collect forks, spoons, and knives with the airline's logo and/or name, those who were collectors in pre-9-11 days now jealously guard their existing stash. Or, in extreme cases, collectors resort to stealing airline cutlery from other frequent travellers.

The thefts occur most often when two jetsetters live together and place their airline cutlery in a common kitchen drawer. Some collectors report a migration of cutlery from their half of the drawer to the roommate's side of the drawer. In some cases, the cutlery disappears entirely and only resurfaces when the victimized collector looks into the closet of the thieving varmint while the thieving varmint is away from home. Law enforcement authorities recommend that the victim of such a theft pay particular attention to heavy shoeboxes while executing a manhunt for the missing cutlery.

While even in pre-9-11 days not all airlines supplied travellers with metal cutlery that was free for the taking (ahem, Tunisian Airlines!), the total banning of metal cutlery led to inferior plastic cutlery. The new cutlery bore no logo, making it worthless to collectors.

However, thanks to recent improvements in airline security, metal cutlery will make a comeback, taking airline cutlery collectors out of marginalized hobbies like collecting airline safety cards or inflight magazines. British-based airlines will now allow metal cutlery once more*.

*Knitters can bring knitting needles onboard starting April 25.

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