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Wookie Porn 


Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Bluewyvern wrote: "Wookiee porn is elusive? I don't believe it. I'm sure that in even the course of my chastest websurfing I've accidentally glimpsed pictures of Chewie and slave-Leia doing it. You must be doing something wrong."

The truth is, I never did look up wookie porn. I am as bad as Newsweek.

To quell the rioting, I sacrificed my spare time to seek out answers. Is there wookie porn? Is it any different from human porn? Where exactly are the wookie bars where you can pick up wookie lads?

The best comment on wookie porn I found was: "RE: Is sex with a wookie considered beasiality? Forgive my audacity, but why is this even up for debate? Does a wookiee live next door? Are you trying to hook up with a wookiee for a dance or something? I'd understand a cow or something, but Christ..."

Exactly, Monsieur. I am trying to hook up with a wookie.

In the end the answer was very simple. Wookie porn exists and it's on the Star Wars Holiday Special.

It turns out that I was mispelling wookie all along (it's two Es) and that's why I never ran into wookiee porn on my chaste searches of the internet. Even the wookiee planet, Kashyyyk, goes a little overboard on the letters. Wookiees are not just excessive in their hirsuteness. Goshfukkit!

Even worse, that cad Chewbacca is already married.

And I believed him when he said he loved me.

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