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Frass 


Thursday, June 09, 2005

David of Upside-Down Hippopotamus got pooped on by a bird and took it for a trip to the abyss.

David, worry not. Birds pooping on you is good luck. Think back to babyhood, did you eat poop? Because that is the luckiest thing you could have done in early childhood to ensure a life of happiness.

I ate my own poop as a baby. My parents never let me forget this and, in my darkest mmoments, remind me of this.

"See? You are meant to have a lucky life - you ate your own poop when you were a wee thing. Now stop moping." That's what they always say.

My friend Cosmin, after asking around who ate their poop and who didn't, lamented that he never did.

Once, when my car parked itself under some bird poop, my sister stopped me from washing it off.

"Leave it on for a few days at least," she said. "It's lucky."

So you see, David, poop doesn't have to be ugly. It can be downright pretty.

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