Exploitation Films & Baby Penguins 

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

After a perfectly normal day of reading children's books and watching cute spy movies from the 30s, I should know better than to develop an interest in gorefest films at midnight.

Now, having read about (and looking at pictures of) Cannibal Holocaust, Japan's Guinea Pig films, Men Behind the Sun and too many others (did you know that Roger Ebert wrote the screenplay for sexploitation film Beyond the Valley of the Dolls?), I need fluffy penguin babies to cure me.

Think, think of baby penguins. Ah, here is the first image: tour guides in Antarctica warn their charges to keep a five-metre distance from penguins. Yet the penguins are under no obligations to keep away from the humans. Now imagine being swarmed by fluffy penguins. Good, I am much closer to not being disturbed.

I can see penguins with their beady eyes - I know sea otters are the hamsters of the sea but baby penguins are the hamsters of the Antarctic.

Think of moulting baby penguins, leaving tufts of penguin dust-bunny down all over the place. Think of making a nest out of all this penguin fluff.

Ok, the gory side effect cannibal murders are gone. I'm ready for bed. Thank you, baby penguins!

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