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Beer and Baldness Remedies 


Friday, December 09, 2005

As part of her offensive against impending baldness, my grandmother shaved off all her hair.

"Look, it's growing back already!" she said feeling a tuft at the back of her head in answer to the look on my face.

"Grandma, you missed that spot."

"Oh, poo."

"Doesn't your wig itch?"

"I'm used to it."

"So this is supposed to help your hair grow back stronger?"

"Yes, and I massage a special garlic-alcohol mixture into my scalp. That helps too. The mixture forms when you leave a clove of garlic in a bottle of rubbing alcohol for about fifteen days."

I poured my grandmother her beer.

"Don't pour backwards - that's an ill omen."

"For you, grandma, or for me?"

"For me. By the way, one of these Canadian bottles will accumulate 20 drops of beer after you pour it out. One of the big bottles that we use in Romania will drip out a total of 44 drops."

My grandmother worked in a beer factory for 25 years. She knows all about beer.

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