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Equalizer 


Friday, January 20, 2006

The transcript from a commenting conversation with Chief-Ten-Bears:

I've been to the sporting goods store in Pemberton but didn't browse too much in their hunting section. I'm sure they carry this type of un-sportsmanlike liquid bait.
Chief-Ten-Bears | Homepage | 01.20.06 - 1:53 am | #

I'm glad you pointed out how unsportsmanlike it is, Chief-Ten-Bears. I find the whole idea of hunting, unless you are doing it to eat or clothe your family, a joke. Unless you lose your breath in cardiac exercise, it's not a sport. Sure, some dude can chase down a deer after injecting it with a crossbow, but that's running, not hunting, that gets the claim that its a sport.
Maktaaq | Homepage | 01.20.06 - 7:01 am | #

Right on, and have you seen the 15,000,000 candle watt hunting lights at Costco? Poor animals don't stand a f@*^ing chance.
Chief-Ten-Bears | Homepage | 01.20.06 - 1:16 pm | #

This conversation hit a button. I horrified my new pet-lover boss today when I brought up hamster fur coats for the bitch and famous. Then I remembered that the Japanese still want to hunt whales for research purposes only to turn them into burgers.

"Burgers," replied Matt, "That equalizer of all meat. Why not just eat beef then?"

Yeah, sure.

I work in a museum that has a fur trade display and I pet the Fur Trade Zoo every day on my way to the office, but that's before synthetic fibres. The furs represent an old way of hunting that we don't have to do any more. It should be enough these days that we torture farm animals.

It pisses me off that rich farts can off musk-oxes and polar bears for $15,000 just for a brag rug.

I recall a conversation in grade eight with my white trash friend at my redneck high school. After a successful hunt, her dad would toss her the testicles.

"Then I would play catch," she said. "They bounce."

Maybe what really irritates me is the lack of respect. That there's some poor creature minding its own life, trying to live in a shite world overrun with humans who feel like they can complain shit because some starving animal had the gall to eat their prize lilies, and that then some bastard runs them over or shoots them. That some middle-aged botoxed ex-hooker in Hollywood wears a fur over her bikini. Why don't you grow out your Brazilian instead, ho?

My Maktaaqian solution? If those hunter boys don't eat every part of the animal, I'll shove it up their noses. No. Up other orifices. With a trowel. I'm not getting my hands dirty. I'll be wearing chainmail mittens with surgical gloves underneath. Maybe brass knuckles on my chainmail mitts.

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