Rabbits in Romanian 

Thursday, January 05, 2006

That's it. I am dying. The coughing is not stopping. Any minute now I am going to start hacking up blood.

Tea and vodka, none of them are helping.

I begged my father to make me a glass of gogăl mogăl. Laryngitic actors drink this raw egg white and sugar mixture just before going on stage. One of my favourite drinks of all time, it never helps.

"Have you put garlic cloves in your ears?" asked my mother. Unlike Rurality's bear grease in the ears, garlic's abundance makes it a more likely candidate to go into my ears.

The worst thing about the cold is that I can barely talk.

I phoned Elections Canada to see why I was dropped off the voter's list. They had one of those voice-activated automated answering service, that asks you to say your choice from a list of options. The machine kept saying "I didn't understand that."

Undaunted, I decided to show my mother rabbit pictures. "Look, ma, rabbits!"

"What did you say?"

"Rabbits." Or iepurii, in Romanian.

"Keep your voice down!"

"What? They're just a bunch of rabbits."

"That's not what I'm hearing."

When I asked what she thought I was saying, she gestured an erect penis.

Iepuri. With the stress on the u. That's loutish Romanian for penis.

And I still can't tell the difference, cold or no cold.

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