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Tuesday, March 14, 2006
I've been memed up and down, and now that the memes have piled up, here are my answers.
Seven things to do before I die
1. Surgically implant piranha teeth into puppies.
2. Inject piranha puppies with testosterone.
3. Watch piranha puppies attack Tokyo.
4. Cross-pollinate tulips with sharks.
5. Send tulips to mom.
6. Make someone happy.
7. Blow up the world.
Seven things I can't do
2. Explode silly putty.
5. Face transplants.
6. Lick my own genitalia.
7. Lose those pesky holiday pounds.
Seven things that attract me to blogging
1. The fact that I can put all my nefarious plans in print.
2. The fact that the world can tremble with fear at reading of my evil plans.
3. The fact that I can type "Bwa ha ha" over and over again.
4. The fact that there's a whole community of people like me all over the internet and I can meet them through this blog.
5. The fact that after I meet these people I can implant their shih tzu puppies onto their backs.
6. The fact that these hybrid puppy people now make up my army of evil.
7. The fact that disembodied puppy heads have less fur to brush.
Seven things I say most often
1. Where are my scalpels?
4. I will control the world!
Seven books that I love
2. I am Legend
3. How to be a Villain
4. The Zombie Survival Guide
5. How To Survive a Robot Uprising
6. The Annotated Anne of Green Gables
7. The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Golf
Seven movies I watch again and again/four films I watch/I can watch over and over
1. White Zombie
2. Night of the Living Dead
5. The Island of Dr. Moreau
6. Little Shop of Horrors
Seven people I want to join in too: You, you, you, you, you, you, and, um, you.
Four jobs I have done/I've had
1. Implanting puppy heads on the President of Venezuala
2. Genetically modifying the President of the Honduras
3. Tumour augmentation on the Vice President of the United States
4. Taking over the world
Four places I have lived
2. Half an hour out of Zhuhai
4. An hour north of Tokyo
Four TV shows I watch/TV shows I love(d) to watch
I don't watch TV but when I did it was:
3. The Simpsons
Four things I like to eat/favorite [sic] dishes
1. Dim sum
2. Fresh sushi
3. Kaiseki cuisine
4. Tex Mex
Four places I have been on holiday/on vacation
1. The Island of Dr. Moreau
4. 20,000 leagues under the sea
Four favorite [sic] web sites/websites I visit daily
Four places I'd rather be/ right now
1. Drinking coffee at Cafe Hawelka with a good book
2. Nude onsen bathing with Pugshot
3. Shopping for Barbrapappa/Smurf/Doraemon/Kyoro-chan/Gegege no Kitaro/Moomin merchandise, comics and books - and discovering cool new comics
4. Watching movies/cooking/playing boardgames/travelling with Matt
Four lucky tagees/four I'm tagging: The rest of the four readers I haven't yet tagged.
Total number of books in your house
Presumably in the thousands
The last book you bought was
What was the last book you read before reading this?
Casanova's Parrot (And Other Tales of the Famous and Their Pets)
Write down 5 (or 6) books you often read or that mean a lot to you
1. The Exploits of Moominpappa by Tove Jansson (Royalist colonists, ghosts rattling chains, pranksters - taught me everything I know and that there's room enough in the world for those of us who aren't charismatic and brash demagogues - and that Scandinavia is the place for me)
2. Matilda by Roald Dahl (I come from an anti-communist, anti-intellectual family who hated me for being a nerd, so it was nice to know that fictional people have the same problems)
3. Teachings of the Tides: Uses of Marine Invertebrates by the Manhousat People (out of print, but if you're ever shipwrecked off the west coast of Vancouver Island, you better hope this book is with you)
4. Ciuleandra by Liviu Rebreanu (the first book I ever read in Romanian - I was 27 and the book has a wife murder and insanity)
5. The Concise Oxford English Dictionary, Thumb Index Edition (lots of words!)
6. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (the first book I read in English - and I don't give a shit about the Xians who think this is their book - I cheered for the lion but I got into monsters thanks to C.S. Lewis; besides aren't real fauns a lascivious bunch? Lucy wouldn't have stood a chance)
List your current six favorite songs, then pick six other people to do the same. Thank God it isn't six all time favorites...
1. Boney M: Rasputin
2. The Video Dead: The Reinforcement Channel
3. The Covenant: Figurehead + all others
4. The Jesus and Mary Chain: Lowlife
5. Yellow Magic Orchestra: Key
6. Șuie Paparude: Hard Dub
7. Skinny Puppy: Blue Serge + others
8. Depeche Mode: mostly everything
9. Rammstein: can't decide
10. Concrete Blonde: Bloodletting
11. Nation Writer: Unrest
12. Gorillaz: Clint Eastwood
13. Die Ärzte: can't recall song name
14. Die Toten Hosen: Deutschrock Girl (??)
And many others.
Who are you going to pass the stick to (three people) and why?
I hate chain letters
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