Ghetto Chorizo Sausage 

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Originally uploaded by Chief Ten Bears.
As I made dinner last night, I swear to god these sausages fried into curly shapes on their own and tumbled out of the skillet, more or less, to spell one of the most belaboured words in the english language.

Some people read heavily into random occurrences, like seeing Jesus in a tortilla or whatever. I'm gonna completely ignore this message.
Chief Ten Bears' sausages are conveying a message from the beyond. The Babylonians were famous for hepatoscopy, divination by way of entrails, but it was Shakespeare that made it famous via the Romans. Remember Julius Caesar.

These sausages, however, belong in a more obscure branch of hepatoscopy, called extispicy, or divination by anomolies in entrails, and then in an even more obscure branch of extiscpicy, called botulomancy, or divination by sausage.

Botulomancy predicts the future by sausage, hot dog, tube steak, smokies, bangers, haggis, head cheese, meatloaf, pâté, foie gras and even spam. Veggie dogs are exempt, however.

In this instance, the word fuck refers not to the English term for having sexual intercourse but to the Romanian, transliterated for the English-speaking household that Chief Ten Bears undoubtably represents. Fuck is the Romanian fac ("I do"), drawn from the infinitive a face, or to do. It is often misinterpreted by the English majority as a fuck you! when a member of the Romanian diaspora utters a polite fac eu! (I'll do it!).

In other words, this case of botulomancy exhorts action. Do something.

Chief, have your chorizo sausage since spelled out any other messages? Do your taxes? Move your house from the flood plains? Change your hairstyle?

I was really thinking it was divining a message of "someone's gonna get laid soon" but as you've shown, I'm just a lowly pervert.

*dejected sigh*
Ha! Maktaaq, you're brilliant.
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