90 Minutes Well Spent 

Monday, July 31, 2006

Thanks to Litblitz's zombie movie recommendations, I spent about ten minutes perusing the IMDB entries on Dead & Breakfast and Zombie Honeymoon.

There, as commonly seen in other horror commentaries, is the oft-repeated phrase: "I wasted 90 minutes of my time, time that I will never get back."

Wow, I thought, these people sure have exciting lives. I mean, hell, if they lament 90 lost minutes, can you imagine what they do with the rest of their time? Negotiating peace in obscure Central Asian would-be breakaway republics, tweaking their latest opera before rehearsals start, carving their scrimshaw version of the Uffizi's greatest paintings, concocting vaccines to fight off the hantaviruses - shit, makes my current 18th century French aristocrat gossip obsession seem like I am flitting away my life.

Their productive lives mean that even one and a half hours spent watching this film bile - nay! longer! - the drive to the video store, the decision-making process once inside the video store, reading the backs of all the horror DVD cases, asking the store staff for recommendations, the drive home, the interminable minutes waiting for the popcorn maker to do its job, the bathroom breaks, the fridge runs, the interrupting telephone rings - are precious hours away from their lives' work.

For all the time these schlock horror fans spend away from their real work, we commoners suffer. No cures, no art, no peace. Someone, somewhere, for the good of all mankind, please make a worthy zombie movie!

Disclaimer: this post took 31 minutes to write, find links, verify spellings, re-read, edit and post.


Ha!!! Yeah, I'm not really sure what those people were doing watching zombie movies at all if they were so worried about all that other stuff on their plates. Who held their feet to the fire and forced them to watch a zombie movie?? That's so hilarious -- like what were they expecting, War and Peace?

Ah well, I still consider myself a true aficianado. ;)

HA!! Awesome. ;)
This makes me think of all the people I meet who say they don't have time to knit, when you know very well that they watch a lot of TV... not saying they shouldn't spend their time as they see fit, just that they shouldn't say such stupid things about it.

As usual, I envy your inimitable writing style.
When your zombie book is turned into a movie, then and only then will we have the definitive zombie movie.
LLB: Yay for zombie aficionados!

Mandy: Thank you for the nice words...and here I am not finding time to blog...

Rurality: I need to inject myself with more zombie-ish-ness first. I think I am slipping in the zombie department.
I was driving around last week and I saw a van that said: Zombie nuisance? Call 703-xxx-xxxx (can't remember the number). This was on the back. Then on the side, it said something along the lines of, "We get the undead to stay dead." Or something like that. It's a mystery to me, the paint job looked professional, and it reminded me of ghost busters only for zombies (black van with some yellow markings). I tried to look it up on the Internet to get an answer as to what this might be all about... but to no avail. I guess it will remain a mystery...
How fun! I wonder if the van is part of an elaborate joke or if there is some seriousness behind the whole idea. You'll have to find out more...maybe they are just working on a site and it's not up yet.
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