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Unimaginably Awful Hippo Death 


Wednesday, April 11, 2007

When I was eight, I went to the dentist, submitted to the tortures and then the dentist reaching over to his desk, opened a drawer and allowed me to choose a toy. I chose the orange hippo.

For years, the hippo - an eraser presumably - was my companion. No bigger than one of my finger joints, his soft rubberiness made him fun to chew one. I even almost bit off his right leg. To this day it hangs on with a sliver.

When I grew up, I put away my childish things. The hippo went into a box with an unlikely companion.

Recently, I opened the box. The hippo and his companion, a rather malignant insect-man hybrid with shoulder pads to rival any samurai overlord, have melted into each other. Or rather, the bug man has melted into the hippo.

Hippo + Bug Man 1

Staring into the human face below the bug man's insectoid visage, I see pure evil, a diabolic evil.

Hippo + Bug Man 5

The hippo hasn't melted into the bug man. It's a one-sided deal with the bug man excreting his digestive ooze, in order to liquefy the hapless mammal. I doubt the bug man even needs the nourishment.

Hippo + Bug Man 6

Yet, for years, locked in slimed embrace, the hippo has suffered, emitting unheard screams of horror like the frozen Incan mummies.

Hippo + Bug Man 4

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Zombie Update 


Monday, April 02, 2007

Ok, ok, I am calming down from the news.

28 Days Later has a sequel. 28 Weeks Later is coming out in the next month. Yay! More zombies! Er, more zombie-like* induced armageddons! Yay!

You can see the trailer here. Ha ha. More humans get it. Features lots of running around by protagonists, with no really secure place to hide.

Just as pleasing is that there are at least four other zombie movies at some stage of production or script work right now:
  • reader input requested for the second draft of the Autumn script;
  • a Dawn of the Dead remake sequel called Army of the Dead;
  • Diary of the Dead, a new George Romero one that goes back to the first, low level zombie outbreak (as seen in Night of the Living Dead), this time following around a group of film students;
  • Day of the Dead, which is presumably a remake of Romero's 1985 Day of Dead and starring the Dawn of the Dead remake's Ving Rhames;
  • a scriptwriter is doing a go-over on World War Z, written by Mel Brooks' son Max (who is, of course, the author of the Zombie Survival Guide).
To tide me over for when these movies come out, my DVD player has been regurgitating the original Romero trilogy and I've been revisiting the remake Dawn of the Dead on Youtube. This week my favourites are Tumble-weed Studios remake dubs. The hilarious episodes are here, then here and the latest installation here. Thanks to Proxy Indian.

Over Christmas, I read David Wellington's novels Monster Island and Monster Nation, and Brian Keene's The Rising and City of the Dead. While I'm not a big fan of talking zombies, I appreciate that the zombies at least shambled about. My really big fear is thinking zombies that can run. That's a no-no. Anyhow, I have a review written on these books in one of my journals that I can't locate. I'll probably find it some time in the next six months.

PS I bought a house. It can be zombie-proofed in about half an hour.


*The infected in 28 Days Later are not technical Hollywood zombies (i.e. flesh-eating ghouls). They are not Caribbean zombies (i.e. people enslaved by magic). The 28 Days Later infected are simply crazy homicidal maniacs (boo). But they do run amok and turn everyone they bite into one of them (scary!).

**Zombie movies need to stop recycling zombie movie names.

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